My Step Father was a pretty good guy. He was a much older gentleman (old enough to be my grandfather) who fought in the second World War. After the war, he was stationed in the last US Horse Calvary unit, which patrolled the US / Mexico border. My mother met him when I was in junior high school and he was a breath of fresh air who shared tons of advice with me during my teenage years before passing away when I was 22.
He was a really sweet guy with a big heart but would love to stir things up by saying stuff that would shock people or catch them off guard, coming across as the crotchety old man or a little bit loony. Like the time my brother was visiting during the holiday season with his 3 sons who were wrestling around on the floor and the youngest, named Keith was struggling to participate while holding onto a handful of candy. When Dad convinced him that he could trust Poppy to hold his candy while he played. While Keith was busy being pinned on the ground by his brothers, Poppy ate all of the candy. Just to see the 3 year old’s reaction. We would sometimes go to the mall with my mother and sit on a bench cracking jokes as we did some people watching.
Some of the advice he gave me sank in right away, some took years before I would look back and understand with clarity. Some of the advice were words to live by but unfortunately there were times that as I look back, I see that he was way off base. Today, I’ll share with you one of those misses but will share some of his wisdom in later posts.
When I was a junior in high school, I joined the US Army Reserves and left to spend the summer between my junior and senior high school years in basic training. Before I left, Poppy gave me some advice.
He reminded me that when I was in basic training, the best thing to do was blend in with the crowd. “Don’t lag behind. Don’t blaze ahead and draw attention to yourself. If so, that will make the next 8 weeks the most miserable you can imagine, he said. Just blend in and get through it.”
Wow was he way off. Unfortunately, this was advice I took at the time and for the next several years. Blending in and settling for mediocrity. I never was the bottom feeder but many times, I held back the reigns and was afraid to stand out. Though most of us haven’t been actually given this advice by their father, many people unconsciously settle for mediocrity every day because their scarred of standing out and being exceptional.
Being exceptional may be painful, hard, tiring, sometimes frustrating. But then again, so is parenting. Or most anything worth while. Don’t settle for blending in. What do you have that’s different? Whether it’s your looks, knowledge, quirky talent, or something others would consider a struggle. Don’t smother it in order to blend in. Exploit it and stand out from the crowd. Use it as your advantage.
