1. Fair skinned, white, bald guys like myself should wear sun screen.ruthie chicken on a stick
  2. Old worn out Chuck Taylor’s are not the best shoe for walking the fair for 5+ hours.
  3. Somehow, combining the smells of cigarette smoke, old deep fry oil, other people’s body odor, stale beer, and rotting trash remnants makes me hungry.
  4. That hunger can be satisfied by the offering of anything you can think of… being served on a stick.  Corny dogs, fried chicken, biscuits, chocolate covered cheese, mashed potatoes, pizza, frozen bananas… all on a stick.  You can’t beat that.
  5. Coke Zero actually tastes pretty good.  The carbonation still makes you belch like a pirate so don’t think I’ll become a soda drinker again any time soon.space needle 2
  6. Indian tacos at the state fair consist mainly of fry bread and lettuce.  Hardly any meat or beans, so you’d better ad taco sauce for flavor.
  7. Once a person has eaten all of these things, an electrifying ride on the “twirl of terror” or whatever that thing is, probably isn’t a great idea.
  8. No matter how much fair food you’ve eaten, there’s always room for a stop at Berri Licious for frozen yogurt on the way home. (More on this place tomorrow).
  9. Just a few minutes in the space needle with no air conditioning and about 20 stereotypical fair goers can be sweaty, stinky, and halee ride2miserable.
  10. Reminiscent Sooner fans can always find a T.V. on which to watch their beloved Adrian Peterson play football and erupt with a roaring cheer when his team wins.  No matter what environment they’re in.
  11. If you can manage to win the Heisman Trophy, people will pay $20 for a picture of you, 30 years later.  And, an extra $10 if you sign it.
  12. If I ever decide to sell vibrating exercise machines at the fair, I’ll face them out to the crowd so the poor folks trying them out, won’t need to be unknowing jokes to passers by pointing out their jiggling butts.jeff and clown2
  13. A $5 ride ticket can put a $1,000 smile on your little girl’s face.
  14. Nobody really knows or understands exactly which ducks are winners.  The guy working the booth doesn’t either.  If he likes you, you’re a winner.  If not, see ya.
  15. Shriner clowns hand out party beads at a much less degrading price than those one can earn at mardi gras or on a spring break trip.
  16. The traditional fair/carnival music played in the “kiddie” area really put me in the mood for the fair more than the top 40 hits played throughout the rest of the fairgrounds.
  17. Potbelly pigs will do anything for an Oreo Cookie.all of us pic2
  18. Fairgoers will cheer on a potbelly pig named after a celebrity for their own plastic pig snout.  And of course, an Oreo Cookie.
  19. One somehow forgets the distance to between their location inside the fairgrounds (wherever it might be) and one’s car.  This becomes ever so clear as you begin to make the trek toward your vehicle at the pace of a barn sour mule at the end of a day’s work in the field.
  20. The memories, pictures, and experience of the fair with my family make each of the previous 19 great.